Haus of Woo.

DON DRAPER’S BEST LINES

1. “Maybe I’m not as comfortable being powerless as you are.” Season one, New Amsterdam
2. “People tell you who they are, but we ignore it because we want them to be who we want them to be.” Season four, The Summer Man
3. “I keep going to a lot of places and ending up somewhere I’ve already been.” Season three, Out of Town
4. “Change is neither good or bad, it simply is.” Season three, Love Among the Ruins
5. “People were buying cigarettes before Freud was born.” Season one, Smoke Gets in Your Eyes
6. “Is this a substance much like bullshit?” Season four, The Suitcase
7. “I blow up bridges.” Season one, Babylon
8. “I hate to break it to you, but there is no big lie, there is no system, the universe is indifferent.” Season one, The Hobo Code
9. “What you call love was invented by guys like me … to sell nylons.” Season one, Smoke Gets in Your Eyes
10. “I can’t decide … if you have everything … or nothing.” Season one, Ladies Room
11. “If you don’t like what’s being said, change the conversation.” Season three, Love Among the Ruins
12. “Why is this empty?” Season four, The Rejected (about his empty bottle of booze)
13. “I’m living like there’s no tomorrow, because there isn’t one.” Season one, Smoke Gets in Your Eyes
14. “You don’t cover for me. You manage people’s expectations.” Season two, The Benefactor 
15. “It wasn’t a lie, it was ineptitude with insufficient cover.” Season one, Marriage of Figaro
16. “Sterling Cooper has more failed artists and intellectuals than the Third Reich.” Season one, New Amsterdam
17. “Is that what you want, or is that what people expect of you?” Season four, The Good News
18. “Let’s take it a little slower. I don’t want to wake up pregnant.” Season one, Smoke Gets in Your Eyes
19. “Why does everybody need to talk about everything?” Season four, The Chrysanthemum and the Sword
20. “You’ll realize in your private life that at a certain point seduction is over and force is actually being requested.” Season one, The Hobo Code
21. “It’s your life. You don’t know how long it’s gonna last, but you know it doesn’t end well. You’ve gotta move forward … as soon as you can figure out what that means.” Season two, Six Month Leave
22. “There will be fat years, and there will be lean years, but it is going to rain.” Season three, Out of Town
23. “We’re flawed because we want so much more. We’re ruined because we get these things and wish for what he had.” Season four, The Summer Man
24. “I’m glad that this is an environment where you feel free to fail.” Season four, The Suitcase
25. “This never happened. It will shock you how much it never happened.” Season two, New Girl
26. “When a man walks into a room, he brings his whole life with him. He has a million reasons for being anywhere. Just ask him.” Season four, The Summer Man
27. “People want to be told what to do so badly that they’ll listen to anyone.” Season one, Babylon
28. “I eat a lot of apples.” Season three, For Those Who Think Young
29. “You are the product. You feeling something. That’s what sells. Not them. Not sex. They can’t do what we do, and they hate us for it.” Season two, For Those Who Think Young
30. “You want some respect? Go out and get it for yourself.” Season four, The Summer Man
31. “We’re gonna sit at our desks typing while the walls fall down around us. Because we’re the least important, most important thing there is.” Season four, Blowing Smoke
32. “I would have my secretary do it, but she’s dead.” Season four, The Beautiful Girls
33. “Every day I tried not to think about what would happen if this happened.” Season four, Chinese Wall
34. “That is a roach. Let’s go someplace darker.” Season four, The Suitcase
35. “I don’t hate Christmas, I just hate this Christmas.” Season four, Christmas Comes But Once a Year
36. “… Nostalgia: it’s delicate, but potent … In Greek, ‘nostalgia’ literally means ‘the pain from an old wound.’ It’s a twinge in your heart far more powerful than memory alone. This device isn’t a spaceship, it’s a time machine. It goes backwards, and forwards … it takes us to a place where we ache to go again. It’s not called the wheel, it’s called the carousel. It let’s us travel the way a child travels — around and around, and back home again, to a place where we know are loved.” Season one, The Wheel
37. “I’m late, but you’re not. Good work so far.” Season four, The Suitcase
38. “Mourning is just extended self-pity.” Season one, Babylon
39. “I’ll probably fall asleep on you.” Season four, Chinese Wall
40. “Advertising is based on one thing, happiness. And you know what happiness is? Happiness is the smell of a new car. It’s freedom from fear. It’s a billboard on the side of the road that screams reassurance that whatever you are doing is okay. You are okay.” Season one, Smoke Gets in Your Eyes

DEATH GETS INTO THE SUBURBS

It sweats into the tongue and groove
of redwood decks with a Tahoe view.
It slides under the truck where some knuckles

are getting banged up on a stuck nut.
It whirls in the egg whites. Among blacks
and whites spread evenly. Inside the chicken

factory, the Falcon 7X, and under the bridge.

There’s death by taxi, by blood clot, by slippery rug.
Death by oops and flood, by drone and gun.

Death with honor derides death without.
Realpolitik and offshore accounts
are erased like a thumb drive lost in a fire.

And the friendly crow sets out walnuts to pop under tires.

So let’s walk the ruins, let’s walk along the ocean
and listen to death’s undying devotion.

Michelle Boisseau